Greetings! You’re probably here for one of several reasons…
You want to try our “Home Halogen Fluid Test”
You may be worried about rumored business changes at our shop
You’re curious about the next generation of auto-repair professionals
You may be disappointed you missed George Santos’ speech at Wallace Books
You might be deciding where to get your Tom Dwyer Logo Tattoo
You may have been “offered” services by one of our new Robotic Service Advisors
You may be fed up with Coronavirus and ready to worry about Corollavirus
You may be ready to move to your dream home in Dubious, Florida
You might want to sign the petition to stop the Oaks Bottom Condos
You may be as excited as we are about the new signs on the Sellwood Bridge
You could want to helpsupport the Intellectual Deficit Equalization Act
Your read our newsletter article on “The Fight to Ban DHMO“
Or, maybe, you saw one of our Sellwood Bee ads and you’re either wondering how you missed George Santos, regretting your Tom Dwyer tattoo, panic-buying automotive surgical masks, setting your DVR to record “No Parking in Sellwood”, doing some historical research, trying to find the Tenino Street exit, want to get your MagnaDrive fixed, want a ride on the HoverShuttle, a chat with a robot, or a hot-rock massage…
Sorry, but none of these are real. Your halogen fluid is fine, we aren’t changing to a corporate auto-care behemoth, no more than 10% of our Technicians can be A.I.-generated (by law), the Santos book reading was in Eastmoreland instead of Sellwood, the prize in our Tattoo Contest is a bumper sticker and not a cabin air filter, automotive surgical masks do virtually nothing to stop infection with Corollavirus, parking spaces have been extinct in Sellwood for years, you can’t reserve a space in the parking slab quite yet, the Condo project is planned for Sellwood Waterfront Park and not Oaks Bottom, there are no new signs (yet) on Tacoma Street, our Service Advisors are the same cranky humans you know and love, hydric acid is OK in small amounts, the HoverShuttle actually belongs to one of our clients, and MagnaDrive cars drive just fine even if their tridimensional stabilizers aren’t aligned. We just wanted to tell a few jokes to start the month off right.
