All our Halloween Treats in one shallow grave
“They” say there’s been strange goings-on at the old Dwyer Place lately, that old gray building down by the crumbly bridge. Course, “they” say it’s a mighty strange place from the get-go… lots of cars going by all the time, makin’ scary noises and stuff. But the thing is, see, that once those cars roll through the big, dark doors in front of Dwyer’s, they never come out the same. Sure, the cars’ll look just fine, but you can bet they won’t be makin’ those scary noises no more! And the people who bring the cars? Well, you never, EVER hear ‘em complain. Why, folks ‘round these parts say it gets even stranger this time of the year, so settle in for all of Old Man Dwyer’s Halloween treats but beware… you may have to stay the night! BWAHH HAAA HAAA HAA HA!
Halloween Fun Goes on Year Round
Our monthly newsletter columns aren’t usually about Halloween, but they’re always worth a look. Here are Halloween contributions from our massive ‘Your Car Matters’ Newsletter Staff. Make sure you give them a look in the months to come!
We’re the only auto shop in the country (the world?) with our own political cartoonist. Check out Keith Tucker’s work every month on our Funny Page!
Kyle’s Kitchen brings you a new recipe every month including many Kyle Originals. Click here for this year’s Halloween Treats of Terror!
This Halloween puzzle is from Jen Rombach, who has a new, original puzzle for you this and every month on our Funny Page. Boo!
Take a trip into the terrors of the past with Dwyer’s Kitchen… of FEAR!
Whether they’re greeted by Kyle, our current Mad Scientist of the Kitchen, or Drew returning from the grave, visitors to the Dwyer Culinary Castle often miss the dusty, secret door in the back, the one that leads to… the Dining Dungeon. It’s where we store all our scariest concoctions, the ones that are only unveiled on Halloween. Click here for Kyle’s Mac-O-Lantern and Cheese Bowls, his Deviled Eyeballs, or Drew’s Halloween Meat Hand, Spider Cookies, Flayed Face Cheese Ball, Ultimate Eyeballs, and Tentacle Pot Pie. Yum!
And, believe it or not, there are folks out there besides Kyle and Drew who like to cook. Here are three other links for great Halloween Deviled Eggs…
Skull Eggs Spider Eggs Multi-Eggs
Hallowmemes
Please enjoy our horrifying selection of Hallowmemes…
Halloween Done Right
Magic Wheelchair
MagicWheelchair builds epic Halloween costumes for kids in wheelchairs. We’re privileged to have them as an Oregon neighbor, just over in Gresham. Take a look at the ‘hero reel’ on their homepage… dare you not to cry.
Halloween on Ambush
The nation’s largest, 100% non-profit, “home-haunt” Halloween Display to benefit critically and chronically ill children through the Dream Factory.
Dolores Dragan: Lady of Halloween Art
One of the things that makes the annual Halloween display created by Lambertville artist Dolores Dragan so unusual is that while macabre in a Tim Burton kind of way, it’s not gory. The other thing about her work is the variety and museum-quality of the art itself. Dragan began creating her strange creatures back in the late 1990s as an art teacher in the local Lambertville school. By 2000, she had so many of them her porch in the 100 block of North Union Street, they began to overflow into her yard and then adjacent yards.
The Davis Graveyard
The Davis Graveyard was started in 1996 by husband and wife team, Jeff and Chris Davis, who were passionate about Halloween. They began by creating a small display in their front yard with a few tombstones and skeletons. Over the years, the display grew larger and more elaborate, incorporating new elements such as fog machines, lighting, and sound effects. As the Davis Graveyard gained popularity, it also became a community event, with friends and neighbors joining in to help with the set-up and operation of the display (DG Crew). The Davis Crew also started a tradition of holding a Halloween party every year, where visitors could come and enjoy the decorations, food, and music.
Our Moreland Theater Halloween Ads
We try to ask each new client how they heard about us so we know where our advertising dollars are being spent most effectively. Most folks learn about us through word-of-mouth Referrals (well over half!) and Web sources like Google and Yelp, but sometimes people mention some of the smaller venues. We had one of those this month, when Jill S. said she’d “heard about us through our Moreland Theater ads”. That’s barely a Comment, but in this Halloween season it DID give us an excuse to share our Moreland Halloween ads with you.
30+ Hilarious Halloween Costumes
Some really worthwhile costume ideas at TheFashionBall.com. Enjoy!
Scary Movies
Looking for some hideous flicks that will keep you awake for weeks? Check out at least one of the movies on these lists…
Cult Lab’s Top 100 Cult Horror Movies
30 Cult Horror Movies to Watch This Halloween
Two-Sentence Terrors
If you love ghost stories but can just never remember them, then we’re here to help. Here’s a whole library of spine-chillers that are just two sentences long; some even less…
I woke up to hear knocking on glass. At first, I thought it was the window until I heard it come from the mirror again.
The last thing I saw was my alarm clock flashing 12:07 before she pushed her long rotting nails through my chest, her other hand muffling my screams. I sat bolt upright, relieved it was only a dream, but as I saw my alarm clock read 12:06, I heard my closet door creak open.
Growing up with cats and dogs, I got used to the sounds of scratching at my door while I slept. Now that I live alone, it is much more unsettling.
In all of the time that I’ve lived alone in this house, I swear to God I’ve closed more doors than I’ve opened.
A girl heard her mom yell her name from downstairs, so she got up and started to head down. As she got to the stairs, her mom pulled her into her room and said “I heard that, too.”
She asked why I was breathing so heavily. I wasn’t.
My wife woke me up last night to tell me there was an intruder in our house. She was murdered by an intruder 2 years ago.
I awoke to the sound of the baby monitor crackling with a voice comforting my firstborn child. As I adjusted to a new position, my arm brushed against my wife, sleeping next to me.
I always thought my cat had a staring problem – she always seemed fixated on my face. Until one day, when I realized that she was always looking just behind me.
There’s nothing like the laughter of a baby. Unless it’s 1 a.m. and you’re home alone.
I was having a pleasant dream when what sounded like hammering woke me. After that, I could barely hear the muffled sound of dirt covering the coffin over my own screams.
“I can’t sleep,” she whispered, crawling into bed with me. I woke up cold, clutching the dress she was buried in.
After working a hard day I came home to see my girlfriend cradling our child. I didn’t know which was more frightening, seeing my dead girlfriend and stillborn child, or knowing that someone broke into my apartment to place them there.
I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy, check for monsters under my bed.” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy, there’s somebody on my bed.”
You get home, tired after a long day’s work and ready for a relaxing night alone. You reach for the light switch, but another hand is already there.
I can’t move, breathe, speak or hear and it’s so dark all the time. If I knew it would be this lonely, I would have been cremated instead.
She went upstairs to check on her sleeping toddler. The window was open and the bed was empty.
Don’t be scared of the monsters, just look for them. Look to your left, to your right, under your bed, behind your dresser, in your closet but never look up, she hates being seen.
My daughter won’t stop crying and screaming in the middle of the night. I visit her grave and ask her to stop, but it doesn’t help.
After working a hard day, I came home to see my girlfriend cradling our child. I didn’t know which was more frightening, seeing my dead girlfriend and stillborn child, or knowing that someone broke into my apartment to place them there.
There was a picture in my phone of me sleeping. I live alone.
They celebrated the first successful cryogenic freezing. He had no way of letting them know he was still conscious.
She wondered why she was casting two shadows. After all, there was only a single lightbulb.
The grinning face stared at me from the darkness beyond my bedroom window. I live on the 14th floor.
I just saw my reflection blink.
They delivered the mannequins in bubble wrap. From the main room I begin to hear popping.
I kiss my wife and daughter goodnight before I go to sleep. When I wake up, I’m in a padded room and the nurses tell me it was just a dream.
The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door.
After working a hard day I came home to see my girlfriend cradling our child. I didn’t know which was more frightening, seeing my dead girlfriend and stillborn child, or knowing that someone broke into my apartment to place them there.
My sister says that mommy killed her. Mommy says that I don’t have a sister.
