Santa’s not the only thing that brings joy and smiles during this season… our Humorousness column does as well! Memorize a few of these elf jokes and you’ll be a hit at your office Christmas party. Besides, they’ll be funnier after a few mugs of nog anyway.
What kind of music do elves like best? “Wrap” music!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb? Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other’s shoulders!
What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? Why, shortbread of course!
What kind of money do elves use? Jingle bills!
Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had low “elf” esteem!
How long should an elf’s legs be? Just long enough to reach the ground!
What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? “First, YULE LOGon”!
Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log!
What’s the first thing elves learn in school? The “elf”-abet!
Who sings “Blue Christmas” and makes toy guitars? Elfis!
Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin? Cinder-“elf”-a!
One elf said to another elf, “We had Grandma for Christmas dinner”. And the other elf said, “Really? We had turkey!”
Why do elves scratch themselves? Because they’re the only ones who know where it’s itchy!
How do elves greet each other? “Small world, isn’t it?”
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas? Gnome on the range!
Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? Because Santa had said, “No L!”
Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band? Because he had the drum sticks!
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes!
What’s another name for Santa’s helpers? Subordinate clauses!
Where do you find elves? Depends where you left them!
