Does the coming Christmas holiday fill you with warm memories of family and friends? Or, does it fill you with a desperate longing for January? There’s only one way to find out… take the Grinch test. If you pass (ie: ARE a Grinch) then you’ll probably like most of the humor on this website so obscure we couldn’t even figure out its name. Weirdly, if you’re looking forward to a Martha Stewart Christmas, you’ll probably like it too. That’s Humorousness for you… Ho Ho Ho!
The Grinch Test
1. You reuse last year’s Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)
2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor’s outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor’s whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)
3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)
4. You put out last year’s stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy, 10 points for a chocolate Santa)
5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale’s or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction).
6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day. (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone claiming you are stuck in a phone booth).
7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)
8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own. (5 points)
9. After an invitation to a friend’s house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as homemade. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).
10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points)
Evaluate your score on the “Grinch Scale” from 20 to 100.
20-30: You are just a cheeseball.
30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by
the police for overdue parking tickets.
50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.
