Here’s the biggest collection we could find (from our cyber friends at Bored.com) of strange warning labels that have appeared on various products. The sad thing about product warnings is that they are usually put on a product in response to some misuse of the product that landed the manufacturer in court. For example, one of our intrepid Your Car Matters reporters told us about a man who sued a lawnmower company for his injuries because they didn’t warn him not to pick up the mower and use it to cut his hedge. The lawnmower now carries the appropriate warning. With that story in mind, think of all the mistakes that resulted in these (purportedly real) warnings…
Cardboard windshield sun shade: Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.
Infant’s bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water
Package of Fisherman’s Friend throat lozenges: Not meant as substitute for human companionship
Disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake
Bottle of shampoo for dogs: Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish
Curling Iron: Warning: This product can burn eyes
Hair Dryer: Do not use in shower
Hair Dryer: Do not use while sleeping
Hand-held Massaging Device: Do not use while sleeping or unconscious
Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket: Do not place this product into any electronic equipment
A toilet at a public sports facility: Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking
Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists: Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover
Container of Underarm Deodorant: Caution: Do not spray in eyes
Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter: Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks
Toner cartridge for a laser printer: Do not eat toner
13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow: Not intended for highway use
Can of self-defense pepper spray: May irritate eyes
Novelty rock garden set called “Popcorn Rock”: Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth
A Frisbee: Warning: May contain small parts
A toilet bowl cleaning brush: Do not use orally
A birthday card for a 1 year old: Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less
Heated seat cushion: Warning: Do not use on eyes
Microwave Oven: Do not use for drying pets
Electric Cattle Prod: For use on animals only
Can of air freshener: For use by trained personnel only
Silly Putty: Do not use as ear plugs
Knife sharpening stone: Warning: knives are sharp!
Deodorant: Do not use intimately
Rat Poison: Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice
Portable stroller: Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.
Dashboard of a mail truck: Look before driving
Children’s cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery
Sign at a railroad station: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted
Bottom of a supermarket dessert box: Do not turn upside down
Package of dice: Not for human consumption
Bottled Drink: Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth
Shipment of hammers: May be harmful if swallowed
Manual for an SGI computer: Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers
Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle: Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death
Electric Thermometer: Do not use orally after using rectally
Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain: Turn off motor before using this product
6×10 inch inflatable picture frame: Not to be used as a personal flotation device
Box of bottle rockets: Do not put in mouth
Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack: Remove plastic before eating
Box for a car jack: For lifting purposes only
Instructions for a cordless phone: Do not put lit candles on phone.
Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean: Do not drive cars in ocean
Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle “body-surfing” at a concert: Always drive on roads. Not on people
Bus Stop: No stopping or standing
Church Sign: These rows reserved for parents with children
Bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside
Credit card statement: Payment is due by the due date
Laundromat triple washer: No small children
Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building: Take care: new non-slip surface
Box of Pills: Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone
Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11: Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat
Can of black pepper: Instructions: usage known
Bag of cat biscuits: Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants
Car Manual: In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors
Espresso Kettle: The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the ‘on’ position
T.V. manual: Do not pour liquids into your television set
Label on a hammer: Caution – Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object
VCR box: Instructional video on hooking up VCR included
Toilet brush: Do not use for personal hygiene
Black rubber fishing worm: Not for human consumption
Orange Juice Can: 100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate
Depend Adult Diapers: Step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear
Furniture Wipes: Do not use for a baby wipe
Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet: This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision
Lawnmower: Warning: When Motor Is Running – The Blade Is Turning
Instructions on the bottom of a grocery store pizza: Do not turn upside down
Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle: Do not open here
Bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use
Container of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable!
Box of household nails: CAUTION! – Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!
Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it: Direction #1: Remove plastic
Drink bottle label: Do not peel label off
Woolite carpet cleaner: Safe for carpets, too!
Box of Frosted Cheerio’s: The logo, “Tastes so good this box never closes,” is located just underneath another announcement: “To close: place tab here.”
Sterno: Do not use near fire or flame
Container of salt: Warning: High in sodium
Hose Nozzle: Do not spray into electrical outlet
