In an age of tribalism and incivility insults are the coin of the realm, but if you’re gonna spend, don’t nickel-and-dime the object of your disgust… pull out the folding money! Here are some really wonderful insults we’ve pulled from around the web. We’ve given you a few (maybe more than a few) of our favorites, but if you like these than go check out the sites because we were laughing out loud…
The 32 Most Brutal and Hilarious Comebacks Ever– BlazePress
The Most Brutal and Totally Clever Comebacks of All Time– TwentyTwoWords
73 Of The Most Brutal Comebacks Ever You’ll Be Glad Weren’t Said To You– Bored Panda
26 of the greatest political insults in history– MSN
From Churchill to Corbyn: the 40 most brutal British political insults– The Telegraph
Heard a good one about Muhammad Ali – when he was on a plane once the Stewardess politely asked him to put his seatbelt on, to which he said “Superman don’t need no seatbelt!” “Superman don’t need no plane” she replied.
Like the lady in the checkout line who was criticized for speaking a “foreign” language on her cell phone. A rude person standing behind her, told her this is America and she should speak our “native language.” To which the cell phone lady replied, “I was… I was speaking Navajo”.
A really shy kid was getting picked on my this mean girl when the teacher tells her “be nice to him, he might be your boss someday,” without missing a beat he replies “no thanks, I don’t want to be a pimp when I grow up.”
My crazy neighbor’s crazy daughters, who are identical twins, are having a massive argument: Twin 1: “F— you you ugly b—!” Twin 2: “We’re twins you F—ing moron!” They could hear me laughing.
Working as a bouncer years ago when we refused to let some drunk guy in the club, he popped the douchey ‘Do you know who my Dad is?’ as if it meant something but quick as a flash my colleague replied ‘Does your Mum?’
I was at a bar when a guy said to a stranger “You know, smoking kills.” The stranger replies “you know My grandma lived to the age 101.” Guy goes “smoking?” Stranger immediately replies with “minding her own F—ing business.”
My friend asked our teacher “In 20 years, when you see me at our reunion, what will you say to me?” She replied, “how was prison?”
Two motorists are angling for the same parking spot. One growls, “I never back down for idiots!” “Really? Well,” the other replies, shifting his car into reverse. “I always do!”
Heckler: My mum died of cancer! Comedian: I’m really sorry to hear that, but how is that relevant? Heckler: It was funnier than your act.
Winston Churchill on Prime Minister Lord Rosebery: “He was a great man in an era of small events.”
Commentator Jim Hightower on George HW Bush: “If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush’s head.”
John Montagu (after a heated exchange with John Wilkes): “Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox!” John Wilkes: “That, sir, depends on whether I first embrace your Lordship’s principles or your Lordship’s mistresses.”
Bob Dole on Carter, Ford and Nixon: “History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford, and Nixon — See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Evil.”
Former Australian Prime Minister, Paul Keating on John Hewson: “He’s like a shiver waiting for a spine.”
Barney Frank on George W. Bush: “People might cite George Bush as proof that you can be totally impervious to the effects of Harvard and Yale education.”
Former British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli on Former British Prime Minister William Gladstone: “If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune. If anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.”
Winston Churchill on Prime Minister Clement Attlee: “An empty cab pulled up to Downing Street. Clement Attlee got out.”
Adlai Stevenson on Richard Nixon: “The kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree and then mount the stump to make a speech for conservation.”
Texas Governor Ann Richards on George W. Bush: “Poor George, he can’t help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.”
