Can you believe it? Christmas is just days away! While many people have already finished their shopping, we at Tom Dwyer Automotive are here for the rest of you… the last-minute shoppers with one perfect gift left to get. And do we ever have a list of perfect gifts! Choose from pills that make you poop glitter, gerbil feeders for babies, USB wall outlets, multi-million dollar yachts, and much more. From the things you can’t live without to the things you can’t live knowing they exist, here are our suggestions for the naughty and nice on your list…
The Weird, Wild, and Wonderful
The best shopping sites we found had a combination of things you might actually consider buying combined with things that just make you wonder…
Far and away our most favorite shopping site was the appropriately named ThisIsWhyImBroke.com. Who’s on your list… Techno geeks? Craft enthusiasts? New parents? Culinary geniuses? Pet lovers? Doesn’t matter; ThisIsWhy has something for absolutely everyone, and on every budget. It has hundreds of amazing gifts with sub-lists for kids, women, men, and more, but don’t cheat yourself… while away the hours browsing through the pile yourself. Here’s a few of our favorites to get you started…
While the overall site has gifts of all kinds, this sub-list from Dodoburd.com concentrates on the giggly ones. Emergency clown noses, man candles, creative profanity generators, and animal butt refrigerator magnets give you the general flavor of what you’ll find. What we can’t figure out is why a product as useful and appealing as bacon bandages made this list!
You’ve been on a flight with nothing to do, and you’ve reached into the seat pouch to pull out the SkyMall catalog. You know you found several things you liked, but now that it’s Christmas you’ve probably forgotten all about them. Here’s a reminder!
Giving Gifts while Giving Back
If you want to do good as you do your holiday shopping, here are several gift guides that connect gifting with giving back to the larger community…
XRAY.FM Holiday Shopping Guide
XRAY is one of our favorite stations now that KPOJ is gone. They’ve put together a buying guide directing you to all the station supporters in Entertainment, Food & Drink, Retail, and more. Full disclosure; you’ll find Tom Dwyer on the list (we offer gift certificates) but shopping at any of these local companies will help build our local economy and support independent balanced media at the same time.
Gifts for the 1% (or your fine local mechanic)
You know, deep down, that you can’t show up for the annual ALEC Christmas party empty-handed. It’s just not done. If you need to pick up something on the way, here are a couple sites for your last-minute plunge into ultimate consumerism…
Dude I Want That- Exotic Car list
It’s not all just exotic supercars… there are flying cars, amphibious cars, aircraft, and terrestrial spaceship RVs as well. If you can’t afford the whole car, pick up accessories like the motorized license Plate Masks or heating/cooling car seats as well.
The Future Shape of Luxury Yachts
Those cars are great, but even the little people can give cars. When you’re ready to move up to the big leagues, it’s time to give a yacht.
Gifts For People You Don’t Like
Not everyone on your gift list is someone you really want to buy for. The bombastic relative, the obnoxious neighbor you’ll see at the neighborhood Christmas party, the annoying co-worker you got for Secret Santa, they all could be in the running for a gift. Don’t waste your seasonal cheer on someone who won’t appreciate it; something from this list will bring a smile to your face (if not theirs).
Every year the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood holds a contest to pick the Worst Toy of the Year. With an overwhelming 57% of the vote, this year’s “winner” is Mattel’s Hello Barbie. Hello Barbie is a talking Barbie doll, which isn’t unusual and could even be charming. But this Barbie interactively asks questions, records the child’s response, and sends the recording to a third party for analysis. Less charming.
World Against Toys Causing Harm- 2018’s 10 Worst Toys
This Massachusetts consumer watchdog is dedicated to child safety, and releases a yearly list of their 10 worst toys. Linger over their list of toys that risk blunt force trauma, eye injuries, paralysis, or death, but finish up with the “make your own poo” kit. All available from a fine toy peddler near you.
Microphone tongs, smoking mittens, and an automatic pet petter (“Never touch your pets again!”) will get you started here.
What You Really Clicked For
And of course, as promised, here are the pills that let you poop glitter. What, you didn’t think we were making that up, did you?
